Responding to Vir Das
In late 2021, comedian Vir Das (who apparently is an Indian, but on a quest to flatter the western audience by feeding into the stereotypes that they have about his ethnicity) recited a controversial poem wherein he spoke about how he comes from ‘2 Indias.’ What made the poem controversial in the public eye is that while he does address the positive cultural, political, and socio-economic aspects of the country on one side, he quickly follows it up with a contradiction which leads to the country`s image being implied as hypocritical, incapable and vastly backward in comparison to the otherwise ‘progressive’ world that exists around it. Keep in mind that he does so at the Kennedy Centre, a performing hall that`s based in Washington, and in front of a mostly non-Indian audience. By doing so, he has crushed the already tarnishing image of Indians abroad, thanks to biased media outlets that love portraying the country in a bad light. Today I offer my 2 cents, through more than 2,000 words. I may be a bit late, but seeing that individual recently appear in a popular YouTuber`s podcast and give justifications for that appalling excuse of a performance, deceitfully wrapped under the garb of comedy, has triggered a sudden urge within me to no longer keep my opinion bottled up and answer him back as a proud, unfiltered Indian who doesn`t have to deliberately fiddle with the image of my own country in attempts to garner sympathy, publicity, or validation from a bunch of judgemental and racist people.
Here`s the link to his controversial performance:
I will be pinpointing each line, and I also apologize in advance for some of the language that has been used, it
may be deemed inappropriate in your book. I have been compelled to use it
for the sake of solidifying my point in a more impactful way.
"I come from an India where children wearing masks hug each
other and I come from an India where leaders hug each other without wearing
masks."
- Considering the fact that most politicians are senior citizens, it may not be comfortable for them to wear a mask for that long given the respiratory struggles and discomfort that they may be prone to face. Besides, there is a general tendency to pull down your mask when greeting someone you know. Although it should be avoided, it`s a subconscious and involuntary response.
"I come from an India where the AQI is 9000 but we still
sleep on the roof and look up at the stars.
- Cities like Kathmandu (Nepal), Wuhan (China), Hanoi (Vietnam), Ulaanbaatar (Mongolia), Kaohsiung (Taiwan), and Skopje (North Macedonia) all have a higher AQI than Mumbai, the financial capital of India. Even though Delhi stands first with an AQI 441 which is classified as hazardous, it is nowhere near your aforementioned figure of 9,000.
Maybe you yourself should travel by public
transport instead of lavish cars. That way, you`d do your role in keeping
the AQI under control. For more information on the steps taken to mitigate air
pollution, you may visit the official website of the government of India:
https://pib.gov.in/newsite/PrintRelease.aspx?relid=194865
"I come from an India where we worship women during the day
and gangrape them during the nights.
- Rape rate is defined as the number of rape
incidents per 1 lakh citizens. According to the world population review, here is
the rape rate of different countries that are held in higher regard in terms
of women`s treatment and safety.
Australia – 28.6
USA – 27.3
UK -27.2
New Zealand – 25.8
Iceland – 24.7
Norway – 19.2
France – 16.1
It`s a long list until we arrive at India,
which has a rape rate of 1.8. That`s correct. Yet, ‘educated’ people like yourself
are quick to label India as the rape capital OF the world, IN FRONT of the
world.
"I come from an India where we claim to be divided by
Bollywood on Twitter and yet are united by Bollywood in the darkness of a
theatre.
- Nobody goes into a movie theatre to bond with the many strangers that are seated around them. Most movie visits are seen as an occasion to spend time with friends and acquaintances that we already happen to know, and they are the only people that we are concerned with. So there really is no unity, unless you ignore that one moment where every single Indian stands up when the national anthem is playing in the hall.
- Stop defending the drug-fuelled, nepotism-induced industry that is Bollywood, which was under the covert influence of the mafia up until a certain point. We get it, it was your bread and butter at one point. But considering the amount of boot-licking you`ve indulged in abroad, you don`t need to defend it anymore. Biased narratives cause divides, and Bollywood has been at the forefront of feeding an uninformed audience with those narratives.
"I come from an India where we scoff about sexuality and yet fuck till we reach a billion people."
- Cultures of certain countries are reserved, more than you`d be aware of. Most cultures, in fact, have been uncomfortable with addressing sex openly (Many parts of Europe, the Middle East) because it was deemed as private and taboo. It is The United States which started this trend, and the fact that it is rapidly spreading like a plague is a result of cultural imperialism.
- The massive population is a result of a lack of
knowledge about proper family planning in the backward economic classes. Trust
me, Americans don`t indulge in sexual activity any less than we do. Non-conventional practices like Cuckolding, Swinging,
Gangbanging, Orgy, (I feel ashamed to even mention these terminologies in a blog that was intended to be civil) came from the west. They`re just better at
understanding the consequences of not using protection.
"I come from an India where journalism is supposedly dead
because men in fancy studios, in fancy suits, give each other handjobs and yet
women on the road with laptops are still telling the truth.
- I`m not sure if I understand this, am I missing
any sarcasm here? The last time I turned on my television, I didn`t see a pair of
well-dressed journalists give each other handjobs (nudity on television is
banned here, unlike western movies and web series where they somehow manage to
insert a plot hole so that the protagonist can show her cleavage for fan service).
"I come from an India where we bleed blue every time we play
green. But every time we lose to green, we turn orange all of a sudden.
- If you`re implying that there are communal tensions following a defeat against Pakistan in a cricket match (considering orange is often associated with Hinduism), I can assure you that most of the 180 million Muslims in India root for their country to be victorious.
"I come from an India where we laugh so loudly in the comfort
of our own homes that you can hear us through the walls and yet we come from an
India where we break walls of a comedy club because you can hear the laugh
inside.
- If you can hear your neighbor`s laugh through
the walls, you need to question the quality of concrete that went into
construction. And if it is the walls of a comedy club that are being broken, you need to
re-evaluate your performance and question if it really was void of propaganda
and was appropriate enough to not upset public sentiment. I agree that vandalism is
wrong. But people are emotional, you need to take that into regard as well.
"I come from an India where old leaders will not stop talking
about their dead fathers and young leaders will not stop following their living
mothers.
- I guess old ‘leaders’ talking about their dad
fathers is much more honourable than old Presidents who are notorious for their
history of sexual misconduct allegations (Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the
former has been accused of rape and the latter has been caught touching minors
inappropriately in front of the camera).
"I come from an India which has the largest working
population under 30 on the planet and yet listens to 75-year-old leaders with 150-year-old ideas.
- Most politicians around the world happen to be
aged. And while some of the ideas are indeed dated, the rest have gone a long
way in building our accolades. Yoga, for an instance, is receiving worldwide
acclaim and following because its significance has been emphasized. And if
you wish to make this argument ‘development-oriented`, we just trampled
Britain`s economy to become the 5th largest in the world. For your
information, more often than not, these 75-year-olds are just mouthpieces and not the
actual innovators of an idea, that`s a job left for the expert professionals in those
respective fields and they operate behind the curtains.
"I come from an India where every time we get information we
are always available to care for the PM but we can`t seem to get any
information on PMCARES.
- You are speaking about a country that allows you
to file an RTI inquiry to have your queries answered, and at your own
convenience. Besides, in the golden age of smartphones and widespread internet
access, you`re a few clicks away from the information you are hunting for.
"I come from an India where we kicked out the British yet we
call the government the ruling party.
- We come from a country that is the largest
democracy in the world. And while the party in power may be addressed as the
‘ruling’ party, the rest of us 1.3 billion people are the actual rulers who
have appointed them in the first place and would have them step down if they
weren`t performing effectively. The ruling here implies ruling over the
opposition in terms of number of votes/seats won. Nobody rules the ‘people.’
This isn`t a communist society like China or a plastic democracy like Pakistan
which claims to be one but is actually controlled by tyrants in uniforms.
"I come from an India where women wear sarees and sneakers
and yet have to take advice from old men who have never worn a saree and will
never get to take one off in their entire lives.
- Had your father never taken one off your mother,
I wouldn`t have been compelled to write this lengthy blog to call you out for
your ridiculousness.
"I come from an India where our music is bohot hard but our
sentiments are bohot soft.
Sure you aren`t describing your bowel movement?
-
"I come from an India where people sleep outside on the road outside the club but man 20 times a year the road is the club."
- Are you referring to festivals being celebrated
on the street? That`s the beauty of India, and what adds to our colorful
culture. You might as well oppose pride month celebrations which last for 30
days in a year and may tend to have vulgarity on display that innocent
passers-by don`t wish to witness. Rather, people dancing with unity to the hymn
of music is a much more appealing sight. It's high time you stop with your
double standards.
"I come from an India where we take pride in being
vegetarians and yet run over the farmers who grow our vegetables.
- I bet that you won`t be able to tell each of the Farm Laws, before sharing your half-arsed knowledge. Bringing up such a delicate situation that is a part of India`s internal politics, in a country that is responsible for disrupting worldwide peace in recent history.
Unless you have worked in a police/armed forces unit, you wouldn`t have realized how difficult it is to hold back a mob that`s charging at you in vast numbers. Or drive past them for that matter. Every rider, even in totally normal road conditions, may have experienced a close call that could`ve otherwise escalated into an accident. Now insert a situation wherein an SUV is trying to find its way out of a disturbed and unstable mob.
An unfortunate incident of that sort may have
happened on an occasion or two, but to jump to the conclusion that it was
deliberate just reflects your ignorance.
"I come from an India where we claim to truly support the
troops until it comes to their pension plans.
- According to an article from The Indian Express,
nearly a quarter of this year`s defense budget accounts for pension. While our
jawans absolutely deserve a good salary and pension for their service which can
never be compensated for, the limitations in defense spending compared to
arch-rival China accompanied by higher accommodations for pensions have held
back the necessary progressions from a competitive standpoint. This was before
the Agnipath scheme was introduced a while ago, which brought about the
necessary improvisations in the allocation of our defense budget so that we aren`t technologically backward.
"I come from an India where we can never be on time no matter
where we go but yet we are always early on the coWIN website.
- Granted, we are no Germans when it comes to
punctuality. But depending on how vital the occasion is, punctuality is
observed. Most serious candidates do show up in interviews or examination
centers a little in advance. However, it`s also okay to show up 5 minutes late
to a movie night out with friends. Besides, being early on the CoWIN website
reflects the seriousness given to health, which is a good thing.
"I come from an India where we have maids and drivers and yet
want to come to America to do their jobs.
- Yet the CEOs of multi-million dollar businesses
like Google and Mastercard have also been Indians? Indians are one of the, if not the most successful ethnic groups in The States. 49% of the Indian diaspora holds a graduate or professional degree, as opposed to the mere 13% of US-born adults and the 15% who were foreign-born as per The Economic Times. It`s 2023, and you`re still stuck on forcing the
idea that Indians in America are taxi drivers and maids. This is a reason why
Indians who actually work those jobs get discriminated against and are
subjected to racism and generalization.
"I come from an India that self serves and I come from an
India that self-preserves.
- As every society should.
"I come from an India that will not shut up and yet I come
from an India that will not speak up.
- That`s true. You wouldn`t shut up about your
nonsense, and very few would take the initiative to speak up against it.
"I come from an India that will accuse me of airing our dirty
laundry and yet I come from an India that wears their heart on their sleeve
irrespective of how dirty their clothes are.
- So the perception here is that Indians wear
clothes that are dirty? You made India seem like a third-world nation like
Ivory Coast, on a global platform. By now, it should be evident where this is
going.
Take a look at the picture below. These are great personalities that wore their hearts on their sleeve AND their clothes did not have as much as a stain.
"I come from an India that tells me every single day to go
Pakistan and yet I come from an India that invites Pakistan over every single
day to whoop their ass on a cricket field.
- Invite Pakistan over on the cricket field, for
what? For them to utilize the profit generated in terror funding activities?
Any person and I repeat any person who has done his research on the complex
history that India shares with Pakistan, would have a strong feeling of
resentment and an appetite for vengeance rushing through his veins. India gave
Pakistan multiple chances. What did we get in return? ISI laying out the 1993
Bombay Bombings, and providing shelter to the mastermind. 26/11 Terror Attacks.
Pathankot. Insurgency in Kashmir and funding separatist militant movements in
Punjab. Take some time to revisit those chapters next time you are tempted to
show your feelings of brotherhood and affection to the likes of Pakistan.
"I come from an India that would say `This isn`t comedy,
where is the goddamn joke?` and yet I come from an India that will know that
there is a gigantic joke, it just isn`t funny.
- Yes, there is a gigantic joke and it isn`t
funny. It`s called Vir Das, a stand-up comedian who tried a hand at poetry and
failed to impress with both.
"I come from an India where children living in basements and
writing in comments sections have more courage than men in skyscrapers.
- Those men in skyscrapers are the reason why
India`s economy just toppled UK`s (a falsely glorified empire that once colonized India) to
become the 5th largest in the world.
"I come from an India that is Hindu, and Muslim, and
Christian, and Sikh, and Parsi, and Jew, and when we all look up to the sky we
only see one thing together, the price of petrol.
- Strange because just 3 months later, petrol prices hiked following the war in Ukraine. And whereas the country where you finished your absurd speech was struggling to bear the hike in fuel prices (as reflected through the memes made viral by netizens), India faced no such downfall, thanks to excellent geopolitical maneuvers which kept petrol prices in control (India`s persistence to buy Russian oil at discounted rates despite international pressure).
Vir Das was present at the Kennedy center. He could`ve used the occasion to put forth his observations and concerns as a non-native resident in this proclaimed superpower, like racism towards immigrants. But no, instead he hunts for acceptance, to be seen as one among them. And his desperate measures to fit in, lead him to feed into the already existing racist and unacceptable stereotypes that the people there have about India. If Vir Das was genuinely concerned about the situation in his country, he would`ve shared it with Indians, among Indians.
Not too long ago, the news of an
Indian student being choked in Texas for no apparent reason surfaced over
the web. Indians have always been subjected to unjustified discrimination and
resentment, and people like Vir Das use these unfortunate perceptions to
elevate their careers, stand out, and become relevant in the eyes of those
guilty of indulging in the same. Instead of helping the situation, he made it
worse for his own personal gains, at the expense of the reputation of 1.4 billion people. And those who were naïve had clapped. You may have been one of
them, and I may not have been able to convince you. But if I could best sum up
my personal take with the least bit of effort, I`d do so with a saying that I`d
come across – True love for the country is when you criticize domestically and
defend internationally.
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